The Bigger Picture
I recently wrote about
the death of a friendship. We were very good friends to one another. But the
last days of the friendship were very painful.
This person was a genuine friend to me. We loved one another as friends. We shared many wonderful moments, had many fascinating discussions, had many moments of laughter and shared our deepest hurts, fears and darkest secrets.
Whenever one of us had a problem, or just needed to talk, we were always there for one another-to listen, give advice, provide comfort, support, make each other laugh.
The sudden transition of this person not being in my life anymore, after our years of friendship, is a definite change. There are two sides to every story. On one hand, there is that person’s view of things, and on the other hand is reality.
This person was a genuine friend to me. We loved one another as friends. We shared many wonderful moments, had many fascinating discussions, had many moments of laughter and shared our deepest hurts, fears and darkest secrets.
Whenever one of us had a problem, or just needed to talk, we were always there for one another-to listen, give advice, provide comfort, support, make each other laugh.
The sudden transition of this person not being in my life anymore, after our years of friendship, is a definite change. There are two sides to every story. On one hand, there is that person’s view of things, and on the other hand is reality.
Do I wish that person
would have handled things differently? Yes. Do I wish I had a chance to explain
my reaction to the last issue in our friendship, to convey that what I felt had
nothing to do with that person? Yes. But none of that matters. It's in the
past. It's done. What truly matters is what happens now.
I went to a good friend of mine, a wise author I know (and mutual friend of that person and myself) and told him what has happened. He was very sorry to hear what had happened. But, he also gave me the best advice.
My author friend pointed out that I could keep thinking about the end of the friendship, and how hurtful and disrespectful it was. Or, I could look at the bigger picture. I can look back on the friendship as it was over the years. I can look at the good times we shared, the great discussions we had together, the times we made each other laugh, everything that I learned, the time when our friendship was sweet and good.
He also said that I can be thankful. I can be thankful to God for sending that person into my life. I can thank God for our years of friendship and the life lessons that the friendship taught me. I can be thankful that that person was indeed a good friend to me and loved me for who I am, flaws and all.
That is what I plan to do now. I plan to look past the hurt. I plan to be thankful that that person and I had the chance to meet.
Picture yourself at the beach at the ocean. You're sitting on a towel, enjoying the breeze, soaking in the rays of sun. There are many people with you at the beach, and many distractions-people fighting, yelling, people smoking cigars, children screaming, cell phones ringing, loud music blaring, dogs barking-all of which is disrupting your peace. Do you focus on those distractions? Or do you instead choose to focus on the beautiful, infinite ocean just ahead of you?
I went to a good friend of mine, a wise author I know (and mutual friend of that person and myself) and told him what has happened. He was very sorry to hear what had happened. But, he also gave me the best advice.
My author friend pointed out that I could keep thinking about the end of the friendship, and how hurtful and disrespectful it was. Or, I could look at the bigger picture. I can look back on the friendship as it was over the years. I can look at the good times we shared, the great discussions we had together, the times we made each other laugh, everything that I learned, the time when our friendship was sweet and good.
He also said that I can be thankful. I can be thankful to God for sending that person into my life. I can thank God for our years of friendship and the life lessons that the friendship taught me. I can be thankful that that person was indeed a good friend to me and loved me for who I am, flaws and all.
That is what I plan to do now. I plan to look past the hurt. I plan to be thankful that that person and I had the chance to meet.
Picture yourself at the beach at the ocean. You're sitting on a towel, enjoying the breeze, soaking in the rays of sun. There are many people with you at the beach, and many distractions-people fighting, yelling, people smoking cigars, children screaming, cell phones ringing, loud music blaring, dogs barking-all of which is disrupting your peace. Do you focus on those distractions? Or do you instead choose to focus on the beautiful, infinite ocean just ahead of you?
That's what I choose to
look at. The ocean. The bigger picture.
El Panorama
Recientemente escribí sobre la muerte de una amistad. Fuimos
muy buenos amigos entre sí. Pero los últimos días de la amistad fueron muy
doloroso.
Esta persona era un
amigo genuino de mí. Nosotros querido el otro como amigos. Compartimos muchos
maravillosos momentos, teníamos muchas discusiones fascinantes, teníamos muchos
momentos de la risa y compartimos nuestros daños más profundos, miedos y los
secretos más oscuros.
Cuando uno de nosotros
tenía un problema, o simplemente necesitaba hablar, siempre estábamos allí de
uno al otro-para escuchar, aconsejar, dar consuelo, apoyar, hacer cada otra
risa.
La transición súbita de
esta persona no está en mi vida, después de nuestros años de amistad, es un
cambio definitivo. Hay dos lados a cada historia. Por un lado, existe la opinión de esa persona de cosas, y
por otro lado es la realidad.
¿Deseo que esa persona
hubiera manejan las cosas de forma diferente? Sí. ¿Me gustaría que tener una
oportunidad de explicar mi reacción a la última tema en nuestra amistad,
transmitir que lo que sentía no tenía nada que ver con esa persona? Sí. Pero
nada de eso importa. Es en el pasado. Es hecho. Lo que verdaderamente importa
es lo que sucede ahora.
Fui a un buen amigo mío,
un sabio autor que conozco (y un amigo mutuo de esa persona y yo) y le dije lo
ocurrido. Fue mucha pena escuchar lo que había sucedido. Pero también me dio el
mejor consejo.
Mi amigo autor señaló
que yo pude seguir pensando al final de la amistad y cómo hirientes e
irrespetuoso que era. O bien, pude mirar el panorama. Puedo mirar hacia atrás
en la amistad como lo fue durante los años. Puedo mirar los buenos momentos que
compartimos, los grandes debates que pasamos juntos, los tiempos sí hicimos
reír, todo lo que aprendí, el momento cuando nuestra amistad era dulce y buena.
También él me dijo que
puedo estar agradecido. Puedo estar agradecido a Dios por enviar a esa persona
en mi vida. Puedo gracias a Dios por nuestros años de amistad y las lecciones
de vida que me enseñó la amistad. Puedo estar agradecido de que esa persona era
un buen amigo me y me amaba por lo que soy, defectos y todos.
Eso es lo que planeo
hacer ahora. Planeo ver pasado el dolor. Planeo estar agradecidos de que esa
persona y yo tuvimos la oportunidad de encontrar.
Imagínese en la playa en
el océano. Está sentado sobre una toalla, disfrutando de la brisa, el remojo en
los rayos del sol. Hay mucha gente contigo en la playa, y muchas
distracciones-personas luchando, gritando, gente fumando cigarros, niños
gritando, celulares sonando, sonando música a alto volumen, perros
ladrando-todos de que perturba la paz. ¿Que centrarse en esas distracciones? ¿O
decide en cambio a centrarse en el océano infinito, hermoso por delante de ti?
Esto es lo que decido
mirar. El océano. El panorama.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.